Adolfo - I came into Johns early with the web cam under the assumption all i had to do was plug it in and set up the live stream for the fans. Alas John thought i was bringing a laptop w/my bad back, uh no I was saving my energy for the bloodbath.
Then I shot all the lights out, once everyone walked in things got really weird, I put on my night vision goggles then went to work a la le professional. I walked up behind John and said "Gyro!" then covered his head in a Cala foods plastic bag till he went purple and dropped, oh hi Erik check out this pack of cigs I just threw up in the air, then as he's looking up samurai sword swing across his belly organs all over the kitchen floor don't slip!
Trishan aww so cute he actually showed up i'll make it quick and painless with a standard chubbo ponytail Segal neck snap "crack" done, i'll take Bailey out for a poop later for you.
Ryan can i borrow that ballpoint pen? oh casino stab stab stab to the neck! Now go write your name on the knocked out list, oh yeah you can't ur dead!
I'm now waiting on the ceiling pressed against the walls when who walks below me but a Doyle's Room hat smoking a cigar with red hair underneath, slowly drop down loop wire slowly around the neck and whammo pull back! thats poker coo coo coo (in cooter from dukes of hazard speak).
Brian, it's not what it looks like, Frank is just sleeping ;) lets go out on the row boat for some fishing, you face forward i'll be in the back, heres a philly blunt enjoy, Fantasy Baseball! Kablamo saw'd off shot gun to the back, boom sleepin w/the fishes but thanks for the cool cobra/adolfo image.
Hey Chris is here yay! walk right over here theres some sports on TV or something bam net trap, time for a little Mr. Blonde (reservoir dogs) straight razor/gasoline fun, it's gonna be a long night for you.
Ah but in walks Carlino with the stink of vegetables and sophmore all over him, I decide the Bolivian neck tie would suit him best, neck slice tongue pulled out ewww, but awesome, but ewww, but awesome, but ewww, but awesome.
Carlino - So close, so very close to ending one of his many curses of the year, that being the last active Cobra to not win a game yet. Let me clarify, have you won a game this year? yes you have (if your an active cobra) but if your Carlino your face is now buried in your hands filled with tears and your computer monitor is most likely broken on the floor by now. On the upside he knocked Frank out when he calls Franks Jh10h vs his Qd9h. His last hand was a Js5s but i flushed him down the toilet.
Chris - Are you gonna bark all day little doggie or are you gonna bite? Upside was when he baby doubled up with QQ vs linos 88. His last hand he walked into Lino's made straight trap and it was lights out for break even. Chris had 9's 3 times that night! He doubled up through me once when he rivers a 3 on me.
Brian - Could barely see his hands between the clouds in the room. After doubling up Chris Carlino decides to double up Brian once too. Later Brian gets knocked out by Chris's 99 vs his A9 at level 7.
Frank - 73737373 in your dreams all night love it! boom cash game least your have Tahoe to break. On the upside his trips vs. Eriks Q was his tiny highlight.
Ryan - Sorry yeah that was brutal but awesome, but the vid fit the story so eh.
Trishan - When it rains it pours, the image above pretty much sums up his year. Brutal hand of the night for Trishan AQ vs Brians KQ flop comes K and no help for the trainwreck that is known as Trishan.
Erik - The usual, gets knocked out, does some high pitch snotty imitations of me that are really quite funny, no really they are, then watches me tell him he's gonna have to come in on Sunday and that all his TPS reports are wrong in his dreams.
John - Lost all side action to me, got knocked out KK vs AA by me, got knocked out of top 3 overall by me, his soul has been bought by me, I have the contract in my bank safety deposit box signed by him in a combo of his blood/tears ink. Oh and he's first out first out first out.
Monday, March 31, 2008
Massacre at Clipper re-CAP! 3/38/08
Saturday, March 22, 2008
In my house now, my house! re-CAP! 3/22/08
Was a gorgeous day in San Francisco and whats the best use of that day? Yes staying inside a dark loft eating pizza watching projected blinds, college basketball on a non hd tv, listening to awesome tunes, and sweet sweet poker. We had assembled an impressive 9 handed game, but both Brian and Ira bok bok lamer'd at the last minute so it was a very motley crew of 7.
An interesting twist was at the last minute I had kooky idea to provide a video stream of the game. So I quickly pointed the web cam at the table, sorry I know the sun coming through the window did not make for an optional image. Ustream.tv provided it all making it very easy to set up and share, you all got the link at the last minute. Anyhow lets get to the blood letting...
Adolfo - I played absolutely perfect, you should all go take lessons from me and study me, ok ok just kidding. I had wild swings, was really up and really down, caught a river flush on Trishan, donked off some chips to Julie, you people happy now? In the end things went well, I had a substantial chip lead going into heads up, but was never a sure thing, I hope Chris puts a bounty on me every week it's great luck.
Julie - Cried about not catching a flop most of the night, was on life support (she just would not die) then got a life saving donation double up from me. Was a good thing too cause she went to work on the remaining stacks making things a bit more even. Highlight of the day was her runner runner flush catch on Eric for a double up. Last hand she has 49 she hits the 4 on the flop of A42, uh oh but i have 35 turn is an A she goes all in I auto call and win. Her heads up stats get an additional blemish.
Eric - Same ole Eric, just solid aggression, not zachlike manic crackhead aggression but consistent firing none the less, wild chip stack swings, he and Aaron were the monster stacks of the night, in his zeal to knock everyone out he ended up doubling nearly everyone up at the end, was a miracle he didn't cash.
Carlino - My favorite line of the night was him looking down on a sorry excuse of a stack then asking, "who took all my chips?", none of us could figure out who had. I knocked him out, as for the rest of his game he had a couple blips of life, but believe me it's not even worth the pixels so meh. Sophmore slump Sophmore slump Sophmore slump, ps he's the only "active" cobra left not to get a win this year but no pressure, no pressure, train wreck.
Aaron - Sweet mother of sassy mollassy, Aaron makes a huge call when Zach goes all in with nothing and Aaron shows the K for top pair. Then he just slowly amasses a monster borg stack, it was so his game to lose relatively early and we all know what that means. Yes he actually somehow traversed his way through insane corn patch maze to find a way to lose all those chips. Bee bo bop beep beep, whats that sound? uh the ATM about to dispense our cash. I knocked him out but that's barely worth mentioning, sigh.
Trishan - Talk about revenge of the river, like I said at the game, Trishan should have just come over and stood with his legs apart and let each of us take a turn kicking him in the nuts then left 22 behind. Wow he was so so so close to first out, check out this picture of me and Bailey holding Trishan up, bad Bailey bad!
Sunday, March 2, 2008
Cherry Poppin Cobras re-CAP! 3/2/08
Ryan - First Frank now this! Looks like every dog is having their day, well minus Aaron (sigh). Final hand, Ryan makes it $10,000. Brian re-raises all-in for $24,000. Ryan thinks about it. Then calls with 10 7 off suit. Brian has A 6. 6 on the flop. Turn hits a 10. River nothing. Ryan takes his winnings and goes on a drug crazed sex romp with the olsen twins through hollywood yelling, "I'm gonna live forever!". Congrats on the win.
