Look What the Donk Dragged In re-CAP!

Adolfo - And so it begins...


Trish - Back to back cash, snipers John, Lino, and Justin not bad not bad. Was crushed heads up think misery scene, writer on bed, me with sledgehammer to Trish feet.


Justin - So close to the real money then Trish AJ ends his dream KJ for break even. He pretty much single handedly ended the Clipper run when he decimates John at Level 5 when he moves all in with 99's vs Johns AK draw doesnt come Justin doubles up to 7k. How can we forget the 64 straight vs becs AA win but of course. Then Julie all in w/10's and Justin crushing her with AA. Knocks out Aaron Quadruple couples snipe night only to result in a mediocre cash.


Chris - Jesus where do I begin with this train wreck, bad decision after bad decision, makes an unnecessary all in call vs me with over cards and i catch my only good card on river. He doesn't make a call with 3 players already in although he was priced in, becomes a huge pot, he would have more than tripled up with a full house. Folding your way to the money is just not a winning strategy anymore. Coulda woulda shoulda, bubble boy meh, winners curse winners curse winners curse


Aaron - Knocked out by Justin in a 3 way all in his AQ turns into garbage, this stinks of John advice. Least I got to shake his hand pre game.


Carlino - Sniped Brian out with quad mf'ing Queens, Sniped Satoshi when he got the straight before Satoshi didn't. He pulled his classic fold the big blind out of turn, it's a thing of beauty don't u think? Can we pitch in and buy him a mouse for the felt or something?


Bec - Allowed herself to get ridiculously short stacked, was less than 5x's the big blind when she goes all in with AA vs Justins 64, we all know how that ends.


John - It was like watching a very very very small balloon deflate slowly, but with that high pitched squeal that they make, made Justin his personal ATM early then in typical fashion just hemorrhaged. This is how you end up 5th for the year, nice to see some things don't change. Oh and knocked out by Justin, let me repeat that, by Justin.


Satoshi - Kind of an 09 train wreck so far, what looked like a great rookie draft pick is looking like all the expert pickers were wrong. Don't remember much from this snake, cept that Lino put the laser dot on his forehead then it was sleeper cell time.


Brian - I think I remember him mentioning how he wasn't going to do much side action so that he could "focus". Here's a free tip maybe he should reduce his side action a bit more.


Julie - Widdled down then goes all in at a blank flop against Justin and says, "I've got him beat." Justin turns over AA, great read, oh and first out.

Slumlord Riverdonk

Erik - He was down to a short stack then caught quads, straights, pairs, rivers galore, nice come back and nice misread by telling Hai he won with a straight when actually he busted out. Oh well sometimes I would like to be more lucky then smart too ( i kid i kid!).


Dave - How did he get this far? Singlehandedly destroyed Clipper, knocked out Johns all in with A6, River straights Bec calling it down, need I say more?


Adolfo - Came out strong, gave Satoshi a giant gift, then made an amazing comeback only to get river'd out by unicorn horseshoe Harve for a cash. If it wasn't for luck... read my book.


Hai - all in, all in, all in, i won! oh wait i'm out, silence.


Trish - was short, got some chips, lost them, wanted us out.


Chris - Was a folding machine for the longest time, finally plays a few hands Erik goes with a flush draw, Chris says he has the nuts, a made straight ah but apparently theres a better nut flush on the river, Fah and indeed Sheeee. Winner curse is strong with this one, winner curse winner curse winner curse.


Satoshi - I gave him a huge pot gift and what does he do? Gives it to everyone, especially Dave. He did make a big fold laying down QQ's alas his arse was firmly handed to him.


Bec - A monster chip leader after fleecing John, falls in love with her KK and Dave catches a straight on the river and leaves her with almost nothing. Next hand Erik raises she goes all in (which is less than the raise) Erik shows 22 vs Becs 10 x, Erik flops 22x for quads, how do u say insult to injury in Cobespeak? 1st 09 winner of the it was her game to lose and she did award.


Carlino - Does anyone remember him in the game? Meh i'm sure he asked if it was his turn a few times. Oh yeah bec AA vs lino tripped flop, turn bec catches up, and it's boat over bigger boat buh and bye.


John - Had a good stack early and got pillaged by Bec, on the short stack he goes all in with 33 vs Daves A6, Dave rivers an A that I dealt, ah your welcome. First to Worst, First out first out first out.

J*** In My Pants re-CAP 12/09

Adolfo - When I was down to only 1500 in chips blinds were 1000/500 and there was four of us left, did I panic? No I played it cool. When Frank doubled me up did I jump for joy and elbow punch him for the heck of it? No I played it cool. I don't play poker like usual, I keep it cool. When I decimated John heads up did I stand on my chair and jump for joy? I think u know the answer, I played it cool. bee bop boo bip bow yeah yeah snap snap snap.


John - Amassed 2nd biggest stack early with some cards and patented Psy-Ops then sat on his chips and folded his way to 2nd. He went into heads up massively out chipped, few hands into it he Ji$$'d in his pants when he flops trip kings and goes all in, I call my flopped open ended straight and flush draw. After my call he jumps up and slams his cards up proudly proclaiming what he thought was his winning hand and ji**ing his pants again, then I announce what I have and he just wills it to me. Then he goes and changes his clothes.


Carlino - Straight Flush, KK over JJ, how did this 08 trainwreck only get to break even money?


Frank - Bubble bubble bubble, game changer was Satoshi period, had his number all night long. Remember those cartoons where the sucker was placed on the carousel and the other guy would just stick his fist out waiting for the guys face to come around again for a punch? yeah now just put Franks face on the carousel and satoshi's fist puching frank once an orbit infinity.


Rebecca - Big Blind's, tired and sick doesnt usually finish in the money but surprise pot stickers were godhead.


Satoshi - Winner of the It Was His Game To Lose and He Did award. He had about 70% of the chips in play then just found a way to donk them off, it was a quick and steady hemmorage to the ER. Early game he was just Juggernauting the table, he caught a level 2 full house, a 6/3 club flush, pushed frank off a hand with KcJc, J10 catches a turn on lino, then everyone woke up and took chunks out of him.


Brian - He lived and died by the cursed 88 hand. He got into a big pot with Lino and ran into a straight flush, check and mate. Second out, second out, second out.


Ilya - Folded quite a bit and I think i saw some premium hands, this stinks of a Helmuth disc 1 or Brian lessons meh.

Stanford Prison Experiment re-CAP!

John - Once again the blue moon has reared its rare head and what a moon it was. I'm embarrassed to say that I made this 30% heads up donk a 40% heads up donk, ugh. But it was entertaining to see him just go psych warfare on everyone early then lose almost all of it only to go on a winning shovedonkfest, enjoy the week.


Adolfo - Was a game 1 1st out train wreck but turned it around with some decent poker, made it heads up and got jumped by johns little cheerleading squad (he had a chip counter, and a poker coach), god i'd love to see him fight one of his own fights just once, just once. Well this plus I caught a series of just dismal cards and the fact that I momentarily forgot how to play heads up didn't help.


Carlino - Had John squarely in the cross hairs when he gets it all in with a better Ace than John, but of course the Cobra champ win curse kicks in and John catches yet another miracle when his baby kicker catches. Lino was 3rd out game 1.


Chris - Bit of a rough night for the money leader, he had a massive chip lead in Game 1 but just got utterly outplayed heads up by Satoshi. But should this be a surprise? He's only a 30% heads up player, how is this guy gonna be the champ? Oh yeah being a cash machine. Bubble boy tried to fold (wait for a miracle) his way to the money but everyone is on to that. I must give him props for hosting 2 games and for re-mucking his hand when some of the table was considering giving him an exception when he mucked out of turn, that was the stand up thing to do.


Saurabh - Put the final nail in my game 1 coffin when my 2 pair ran into his pocket AA which turned into all kinds off better hand. But he ended up a midpacker in both games, was awesome to see him again and big ups to his new baby and future cobra member.


Owen - Caught some great cards and went on a tear then pulled the roller coaster and that never ends on the top. Game 1 2nd out to Game 2 3rd out, ugh go roast me some coffee beans would u?


Satoshi - Despite being insanely outchipped, he made an incredible heads up comeback for a game 1 win, just decimated Chris, alas game 2 is rarely forgiving.


Rebecca - Lets face it her game was over when she gave 90% of her stack to me when she decided to play "feel" poker. I wonder what she "felt" watching her chips come to me, oh and she went first out, and fifth out in game 1.

Kid Cash returns re-CAP! 10/6/08

Zach - Just came in and f'ing steamrolled, absolutely smacked over the head with cards and was mowing down hookers and carjacking cobras like a game of GTA on crystal meth.


Chris - Why did he fold those trips, whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?!!!!!!! Zach played him like a fiddle pushing Chris off his trips with 2 pair, great move.


Adolfo - 3 cashes in a f'ing row, suck it.


Brian - River Bubble king


Frank - I wonder if he's gonna show up with all his Obama FLAIR on again, ugh.


John - What a great hostess, the food was amazing. Oh and he back to back'd 4th out.


Satoshi - Oh thats right, he was there Kings busted.


Owen - blew his load pretty quick.


Mike - Wow I didn't think it was possible to make Carlino look good.

Been A Long Time re-CAP! 9/22/08

Been way too long since I've brought the CAP, been so busy I could not even document my amazing back to back 1st to 2nd place finish in one night! Ah but i'm a gracious winner so lets begin in the present, where the new kid takes it down, a flukedonk catches multiple miracles and yours truly is there to bring it to u, let us begin the blood letting...


Satoshi - The new Cobra played a solid game, was chip leader most of the game, used Mike as his personal atm, lost a lot to Trish but got it back, got rivered by Brian and found a way to win, props for now new kid.



Brian - Had absolutely no business getting 2nd place money, I lost count how many times he bad beat or rivered someone, got up from his chair to leave then boom another miracle river, it was beyond redonkulous. Should have ended up 5th out.


Adolfo - Rivered by Brian, if it wasn't for luck....infinite loop.


Frank - Bad beat by Brian twice, could not cash despite catching Aces back to back and QQ twice, back to the mid pack you go.


Trish - Immediately made Satoshi his ATM, then decided to double Mike up about 3 times, gave me a boat load of chips. He came in the game at the 4th level (bs) with fewer players, became chip leader and still couldn't close the f'ing deal, he may want to rethink that Vegas trip. Winner of the it was his game to lose and he did award.


Aaron - Ugh, wheres my copy/paste? ah here it is, "He got chips early, and slowly bled bye bye" infinate loop.


Mike - It was like a cow trying to cross a pond full of piranhas, almost everyone got a bite, even the real donks.


John - Went Elvin in his bathroom, eat his pizza, and took his money. Had a cute moment when he took the easy Mike chips one hand. Besides that it was sweet mother of mediocrity 3rd out meh.


Chris - Rivered by Brian.


Carlino - Jesus where do i begin? How bout when he mucked in the big blind out of turn? Brian said, "am I going to be the first person to ever get a walk in the small blind?". Yeah that pretty much sums up this 08 sophmore slumpwreck.